Whilst doing our weekly shop last Sunday, I was very nearly driven to actually hitting someone with one of the items in my basket, either that or suddenly losing control and charging willy nilly into every shopper in sight with my trolley screaming my head off. (they would have come to take me away, but it would have been worth it.) There was a time when K and I were the only shoppers (well apart from perhaps one or two more) who did our shopping on a Sunday, but lately we have been joined by every man, woman, nattering child, screaming infant, and yes, even the occasional dog who now pile into Tesco's every Sunday morning. We badly needed a cunning plan.
We needed a cunning plan because the final straw for me occurred last Sunday when, whilst trying to reach for some item or other from one of the shelves, a very portly man actually walked between me and the said shelves complete with his trolley. I was only stood a foot or so away from the shelf! I kid you not. Then to add insult to injury, as I gave him one of my ‘thunder looks’ (as my youngest refers to them) he had the audacity to give ME a dirty look back AND make some sarcastic remark to his wife about me! It’s very easy for a pedestrian like me to tell which shoppers are car drivers simply by the way in which they expect every other shopper to make way for them as they travel down the aisles with there trolleys. By far the worst shoppers though are those who stand slap bang in the middle of the aisle with their trolley to one side or the other, usually next to someone else who has decided to do exactly the same thing.
What they are meant to be doing there blocking the aisle is anyone’s guess because they don’t actually seem to be attempting to purchase anything by getting items down from the shelves. Me? I KNOW what I want, I do my shopping here every week. I KNOW where everything is. I can zoom around the whole supermarket in a flash. (Well I could if it wasn’t full of other shoppers getting in my way!) The worse times are when there’s a ‘trolley jam’ down the aisle where you really must go to get that purchase that simply can’t be left until the next shop. Usually caused by some shopper or other who has met someone they haven’t seen for god knows how long and simply must tell each other their whole life history bang in the middle of that all important, you need something desperately aisle.
On top of all that, you have the staff themselves. Have you ever noticed how they always seem to be filling up the shelves at the exact spot where you need to reach something? Of course, you can’t get to it because its blocked by their pallets full of produce. Either that, or they themselves are stood in the way. We did have that particular incident occur today, despite the fact that there were only us two and another few half a dozen shoppers in the whole supermarket. Two members of staff, (both young guys) emerged from the back storeroom with a pallet full of items and then promptly began a conversation with each other. K ended up dancing a sort of ‘waltz’ around them both trying to make her way past them and their pallet in order to reach her pasta salad.
Mind you, despite being early and one of the first shoppers to be stood waiting for the doors to be opened this morning, I thought that Technogran’s Law had struck again when the store assistant couldn’t get the doors to open. If he tried once he tried a thousand times. Each time they would open so far and then abruptly close again. This would have no doubt continued all day, and we would still be stood there watching the doors half open and close had not some beady eyed shopper stood with us noticed that there were some stacked baskets stopping the doors from opening fully. Sigh. We’d have looked well wouldn’t we? Getting up at the crack of dawn to make sure that we had a peaceful and quiet shopping trip only to find ourselves still stood there hours later waiting to get in accompanied by the usual throng!