Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Making breakfast in 2011.

You will require one pair of pliers, a  pair of very sharp scissors, a sharp knife and one or two packets of plasters in case of accidents.

Utensils required for making breakfast Plasters

Add an extra ten minutes or so  onto any cooking time to allow for penetration of the packaging surrounding most of the ingredients.


1. Open the Tropicana orange juice container by turning the knob anti-clockwise with the pair of pliers.  Once you have managed to turn the knob and open the container, pour the  orange juice from the container into some glasses.

opening Tropicana

2. Whilst the grill is heating up, take out the grill pan and using either the scissors or the sharp knife, proceed to penetrate the packaging containing the bacon and also the packaging around the sausages.

Opening Bacon Opening Pork Sausages

3. As soon as you have managed to make headway into the packaging, take out the bacon and the sausages and place on the rack in the grill pan.  Place the grill pan under the heated grill.

4. If serving mushrooms as well, you will also need to use exactly the same method to access those inside their plastic packaging. Peel said mushrooms and place onto the grill rack with the bacon and sausages.

opening mushrooms

5. The eggs are fairly straight forward to open as they are packaged in a cardboard box  which has a very handy ‘push in’ type opener which therefore does not require any use of  either the knife or scissors.

Caged eggs

6. Once everything is cooked thoroughly, serve onto warmed plates.

7. Use the plasters if you cut yourself with either the utensils or any sharp parts of the packaging.

NOTE! Dispense of all packaging into the correct containers provided by your local council for that purpose!

TG   I don't know smile


  1. On my copy of this post the photo of the finished breakfast is missing! Perhaps with all that expenditure of time in opening the packages you were so famished that it never reached the plates?
    P.S. Glad to have our funny, sunny, charming T.G. back!

  2. I didn't include it Ludwig, I thought I would just let all my readers use their imaginations.

  3. It's criminal, all the packaging. And that's without the risk of injury!

  4. Sometimes I wonder if the packaging would be better to eat than the contents! I now buy my bacon from the butcher who cures it himself and cuts it thick rather than in slices meant for a microscope slide!!!

  5. I love my bacon thick as well Diane which is why I buy Danepack. (blatant advertising!) All our butchers have gone kaput around here since the arrival of supermarkets, they've been priced out alongside the small clothes shops, greengrocers etc, etc.

  6. This was funny..... but theres a lot of truth in it!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  7. I know Maggie, as we experience every time we cook a breakfast! LOL

  8. Funny... I always get hurt when I cook. And I grab any old thing to open the containers. Just wash it off.

    You are one of a kind!

  9. I often feel as if I am one of a kind, batty!


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