Sunday, 21 August 2011

An unwelcome visitor

As I awoke the other morning, I suddenly realised I was not alone in my bedroom. An unwelcome visitor was perched above my bed. It had cunningly placed itself right in the join where the wall butts up to the ceiling. It was a huge spider. It didn’t appear as if it had any intentions of moving, such as descending onto my bed or skittering along the wall, but I do take umbrage to any creature who decides to enter my bedroom uninvited. They are not welcome, especially when poised over my place of refuge. However, the method of disposal needed a great deal of thought on my part.


I was no longer as agile as I used to be. Would the usual method of  ‘get up close and personal and then swoop swiftly and silently with a tissue’ work? After all, creeping up unseen and with intentions to squash is not all that easy with spiders. They have lot’s of eyes and seem to have an inbuilt sense of your intentions.  I have in the past had them leap and jump out of the way despite the fact that my hand seemed to be like grease lightening as it descended on their bodies. What was important at all costs was to avoid that occurring or all I would end up with would be a very large spider scuttling around in my bed and that was the last thing I wanted.

As I stood there pondering my next move, I realised that it was probably watching me. It could for all I knew, be reading my thoughts. How do we know that spiders aren’t psychic? I worked through my options in my mind. Because he was firmly planted in the join between the wall and ceiling, tackling him with a tissue or kitchen towel would necessitate my climbing on the bed then teetering about standing on the mattress before I made my lightening strike.  Any spider worth its salt would surely see my arrival coming and also read my intentions! The other method of extermination open to me, given that he was perched so high, was to employ the vacuum cleaner, or should I say the crevice nozzle of the vacuum cleaner. Hmm.

Using the nozzle would take time to employ however, as it did need connecting together first. Would he wait around whilst I connected the means to his demise? Realising that I was wasting time pondering over it, I scurried off to the cupboard where I keep the vacuum and hastened back with it. He hadn’t moved from his spot thank goodness, so I quickly plugged the vacuum into the mains, connected all of the pipes and the crevice nozzle and switched on. Would he sense my intentions and leg it along the join? I approached apprehensively, the vacuum sounding like a jet engine taking off. Do spiders have ears? I had to be swift. Up soared the nozzle, he felt the suction and tried to wriggle against it as he disappeared from view down the nozzle and into the insides of my vacuum cleaner.

A feeling of guilt came over me as I quickly packed the nozzles into their respective holders and returned the vacuum to its cupboard. Of course, being me, I still didn’t feel at rest. That night, as I lay in bed trying to drift off to sleep, my minds eye could see him still alive inside the innards of the vacuum cleaner, making his way out of it through all the dust and fluff with only one intention, revenge! He would scuttle along the carpet into my bedroom, climb up the valance and crawl all over me as I slept! Could a spider live through the trauma of being sucked up a nozzle and into the innards of a vacuum cleaner? Only time will tell. Sad smile



  1. An ignoble death, TG for a scary creature.

  2. Can I borrow your spider? We have had an awful time this summer with flies....A few well place spider webs should help control the population! They don't seam at all deterred by the 3 well placed fly swatters!

  3. Rest easy, if your vacuum is as full of dust and dirt as mine no creature could survive.

  4. Oh you had me on the edge of my seat thinking that spider was for sure going to jump you. I had guest in our greenhouse special bedroom and had to go in with the vacum and must have sucked up at least a hundred spiders. I know if they had seen it before they wouldn't have set foot in there. Only I know they were there and they will return. I actually like them in there as they keep all the other insect population down in my greenhouse. Well I just hope you slept well and didn't have any nightmares over that one. Have a wonderful week. Hugs Carrie

  5. Be careful, be very careful, when you empty the vacuum!!!!! He could be sitting in there, getting fat and angry, eating all the fluff and goodness knows what has been sucked into the vacuum, just waiting for his moment.
    Of course, you could have used the place a glass over spider, slide piece of card over opening of glass, keep hand firmly on card and empty it out of the window. Or if revenge is what you're after for the audacity of it to spoil your lie-in, down the loo!!!!

  6. My Mom is an avid hater of spiders. Our travels abroad have been the stuff of nightmares for her when we see spiders much larger than we ever see at home. I remember one that fell on my back when I was in the Philippines. I thought what I felt was too big to be a spider but no...I looked down and it had crawled from my back to my lap and was as big as my hand! One swat and it flew into a wall and died rather unceremoniously...I felt no pity whatsoever!

  7. TG, I always go for vacuum too, TG, when trying to dispose of unwelcome visitors. And I don't think that your visitor suffered.


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